Friday, 24 April 2009

Funny Marathi Jokes

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Ekda ek dukkar che pillu ani tyache Baba kachara peti chya baher shi (English : shit) khaat astat. Tevdhyat dukkar che pillu mhante " Baba, Baba, apun jase mansachi shi khato tase aapli shi kon khaat asel ka?"
Tyavar chidun dukrache Baba jorat tyala oradtat " E tula sangitlay na jevtana ghaan bolayche nahi!!"

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Ekda ek International Shi khaychi spardha aste. Saglya deshatun participants aali astat. Indiatun Hermit Singh sardar pathavtat.
Pahilyanda Chinese manus yeto. To 18 shi chya vatya (freshly filled) khaun takto. Talyancha gadgadaat!! Go Chinkis!!

American competitor la ata high standards break karave lagteel mhanun to jiv khaun 35 shi chya vatya khato.

Sagle assume karun chaltat ki ata America gold medal gheunach janar tevdhyat apley proud sardarji utartat. Ice cream aslyasarkech shi chya vata gatagata tondat taktat. 35 vatya hotat ani ajun fakta 1 vati khalli ki world champion honar tevdhyat sardarji ti 35 vi vati takoon detat and "ajibat khanar nahi" ase mhanun haartat. Desi junte cha support ani cheering kitihe zaley tarti appley sardarji ti 35 vi vaati khaat nahit ani america la gold medal milte.

4-5 divsanni india la jevva aplley patu parat-tat tevva media che loka tyanna vichartat

"Kay ho , apun pahilya 34 vatya itkya aaramat khallya, tumhala "bhook" tar hoti. Tar ka nahi khalli 35 vi vaati?"

Sardar vakde tond karun mhantat" Aho kase khanar, tyamadhye ek maashi marun padli hoti"

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Pu La Deshpande ekda T-shirt ghalun hindayla jatat. T-shit var tyanche nav thalak aksharaat lihile aste. "Pu La Deshpande". Tar T-shirt chya magchya bajula kay lihile asnar?

Pu Sh Deshpande. (pull/push)
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Pu La Deshpande pohayla gele tar tyanna kay mhannar?
Swimming Pool (Pu L)
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Satyajit Ray chya babanche nav kay ahe
Baap Re

Aajobanche nav?
Baap re Baap

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Japanese hair cutting salon : Mishi Kapun Taku Yaki
Also ran: Kes Kapa

Russian waiter: Andre vada pav

African swimming pool che nav: Ya Doomba Doomba Doom Doom

Japanese hospital chya baher quiet zone aste. Tya zone che nav kay? Haka Naka Maru

Japanese shaleche nav : Ya shika

Tya shalechya principal che naav : Shiku naka.

Tya shalet kashachi shikvan detaat? : Hitachi


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Ekada don mitra,1 Hindu ani dusra Musalmaan, rastyane barobar challe astaat. Tevdhyat, tyanna rastyat vis(20) rupayaachi note disate. Musalmaan mitra ekdaam excite houn mhanto,

"Bis Milaah!!" Tyavar Hindu mitra chidun manto, "dus tulla, dus malla!!!!!"


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Ekada eka navra ani baykoche jordaar bhandan hote ani te ekmekaanshi abola dhartaat. Navra zopaychya aadhi baykochya ushivar note thevto," mala sakali 6:00 la uthav". Dusrya divshi sakali navra uthto ani pahato tar sakalche 8:00 vajlet!! To baykola kahi bolnaar tevdhyat tyala tyachya ushivar note diste. Tyavar lihile aste, " 6:00 vajlet, utha"!!!


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Ek Sardaarji tyachya sundar bahinila scootar varun geun chalala asto. Tevdhyat kahi targat mule tyachya bahinila baghun mhantaat," yaar, kya bivi mili hai sardaar ko!!" Sardaarji te aikto ani khup chidto, to scooter park karto ani tyanna mhanto, " Aare saale, bivi hogi teri! Vo to meri behen hai!!"


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Ekda dusri madhe shikanaara Balu radat radat ghari yeto. Tyala baba vichartaat,"aare Balu tula radayla kai zale?" Tyavar Balu mhanto," mi masteranna uttar dile mhanun mala tyanni marle........." Babanna kahi kalat nahi tevdhyat Balu explanation deto, " mala tyanni vichaarle ki marathi madhil tin linge chi examples deun sang ani mi sangitale ki 'To bench', 'Ti shala', ani 'Te mastar!!!' Aata sanga , maze kai chukale??"
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Ekda ek manus marun narkaat jato.Dev tyala mhanto ki tu fakta ekdaach punnya kelyane tula shikshet choice aahe teva tu havi ti shiksha magun ghe. To manus aajubajula pahato tar tyala eka peksha ek bhayanak shiksha distaat. Tevdhyat to pahato tar tyala diste ki Gandhijinchya mandivar eka bajula Rambha ani dusrya bajula Menaka baslya aahet!! To devaala mhanto ki mala ti Gandhijichich shiksha dya tyavar Dev mhanto, " Aare baba, ti shiksha Gandhinaa nahi tar Rambha ani Menkela aahe!!!"

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Don Sardargi aapaplya don ghodyanbaddal bolat astaat. Pahila mhanto," Aare aaplya ghodyanna olakhnyasathi kahitari khun pahije. mi mazya ghodyach dava kaan kapto mhanje maza ghoda vegla olakhata yeil." Ani mug to kharach kaan kapto pan nemka dusrya ghodyachahi dava kaan eka accident madhe tutto!! Tyamule pahila sardaargi aaplya ghodyacha ek pai kapto pan parat dusrya ghodyachya payala lagun tyacha pai kapava lagto. Aata vaitagun pahila sardaargi aaplya ghodyachi sheput kapto pan tin divsaani dusrya ghodyachi sheput accident madhe tutle! Shevti donhi ghodyanncha 1 kaan, 1 paay ani 1 sheput jate, shevti dusra sardaargi mhato, "Aare jaude aata, tuza ghoda pandhra ani maza ghoda kala, hich khun chaan aahe."


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Ek sardaarji trainche ticket kadhayla jato ani 3 tikite vikat gheto. Tickets denaara vicharto, " Sardaarji, tumhi ektech jaanar mug tin tikite kashala?" Tyavar sardaarji hasun mhanto," Aho, mi 2 tikite pants chya khishat ani ek shirt chya khishat thevto mhanje samja pants cha khisa kapla tari he urlele tikit rahate." To manus parat vicharto," Ani samaja tumacha shirtcha khisa pan kapla tar?" Tyavar aapla pass kadhun dakhavat sardaargi mhanto," Mug pass kashasathi asto???"

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Ekda eka mansaala sandas la problem hot asto mhanun to doctor kade jato. "Doctor, mala parsakade nit hot nahiye. Majhi shi doryasarkhi (thread like) hotey ani he barech divas chalu ahe". Doctor: Kay hoat ahe nakki baghu tari?". Doctor tyache sagle exams gheto, stool exam hotey, endoscopy sagle kahi test hotat. Tari pun doctor la samjat nahi kay karayche te. Shevthi nailajaane doctor mhanto "Theek ahe tumhi majhya samor basa sandas la mhanje mala nit observe karta yeil" (sorry pun joke asach ahe :))
To manus shi karayla basto ani doctor ekdum hasat hasat mhanto "Mala tumcha problem ata neat kalala ahe. Tumhi jaalicha baniyan ghalta (netted baniyan) na tar tumhi jevva sandaas la basta tevva to madhye yeto ani tya muley tumchi shi jaali sarkhi kivva doryasarkhi yete. Baniyan kadhun taka. Hach upay!!!"
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Ekda Dada Kondke la ek Hindi picture produce ani direct karnyachi sandhi yete. Mulcha marathi manus pun ata hindi picture produce karaycha tyamule Dada Kondke la picture che naav kay thevayche he suchat nahi. Khoop vichar karun tyala ek ashakya nav suchate. Ase nav jyache marathi ani hindi donahi madhye kahitari artha hoto ase. Picture che nav. BADLA LUNGI



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